I might be a Grown Up.


When faced with the call from the youth minister at the church that Baptized my son without my permission, I acted like a grown up.

What I wanted to act like was a yelling freak show that was going to make that man do something, anything, to make me feel better about what I feel like he stole from me.

(I swear I am not trying to be dramatic, but that is the only way I can think to put it)

Instead of yelling, cursing, pointing out very valid points while heaving and throwing things at his head (telephoniclly), I was calm.

I let him explain to me why they did it and that there was a form filled out prior to camp that basically allowed it.  I didn’t see this form.  He was at his dad’s.  And I doubt his dad saw it either.  The grandma filled it out.  I was going to ask for a copy, but here’s why I didn’t.

It’s over.

I told him, while legitimately holding back tears, that this wasn’t ok in any shape or form.  While I am thrilled he chose to be Baptized, but this was a huge milestone that he didn’t allow me to participate in, and that wasn’t a decision he or the church should have made.

And that they should really re-think having eleven year old’s partake in “Spontaneous Baptisms” without a note from Mom or Dad or Legal Guardian.

And it is probably a Blessing that we spoke 4 days after the incident. Because had I not valued the fact that I know people who love that church and it seems for now so does my Son, I would have had a “Spontaneous Youth Minister Ass Kicking”

I calmly laid out my reasons and conveyed my deepest disappointment in their lack of consideration.

He told me Hindsight is 20/20.

Lord Help me. 


As Always,

Woman on Pause


My son has been with his dad, aka his grandparents, because his dad still lives at home for the last week.  He went to church camp.  The same church his grandmother works for.

His dad called me today to inform me that my son has been saved and Baptized.  Without his or my knowledge.

He is fine with it and proud that he made the choice.

He is 11.

Baptism is a big deal in the Christian faith.  It is defined as:

Water Baptism is an act of obedience for the believer. It should be preceded by repentance, which simply means “change.” It is turning from our sin and selfishness to serve the Lord. It means placing our pride, our past and all of our possessions before the Lord. It is giving the control of our lives over to Him. http://christianity.about.com/od/faqhelpdesk/f/whatisbaptism.htm

I am not here to discuss religion.  Truly.

I am writing this because I am so heartbroken that the church didn’t consult with me or him.  This is a big deal.  It is a HUGE deal.  And at 11 they allowed him to do it without my permission or counsel. And I feel my rights as a parent have been trampled on.

And really, I am heartbroken I missed it.

I love the fact that my son is entering into religion but to bypass our right to talk to him or to be there is just killing me.

I believe the grandmother knew.  She claimed she didn’t and told him not to, but he did it anyway.  I don’t buy it.  He had to bring swim trunks (Full submersion baptism).  And I am pretty sure they  needed consent.  Which she claims she didn’t give.  She said “I didn’t even turn in his card.” Maybe she didn’t.  It really doesn’t matter now.

But this is the family that threw us a wedding reception and didn’t invite my family.  Not even my mom.

This is the woman who saw me and my mom at my sons baseball game last week and spoke to me, but didn’t even acknowledge my mom.

I am salty as hell, and at this point have a call into the church.

I am all for kids finding their way to God or what religion they find themselves.  I am all about spiritual paths.  I wouldn’t stop him from being saved or Baptized but I would sit down and ask him why he wanted to, and explain what it meant.

And I would have loved to have seen it.

But I was denied that.



Woman on Pause