Stranger In My House

I woke up today and began the day in the usual manner.  I began by getting the kids breakfast going, got their lunches started.  My 11 year old’s dad called and said he wouldn’t be picking him up from school but will pick him up after the bus gets here this afternoon.


I told his dad, “He told me he text you last night and you said you were getting him from school.”  He replies, “I never heard from him.”

So I go, slightly stomping, into my 11 year old’s room, and he is playing video games under his covers.  A big no-no (<—- note to self, start using a different term. This one irks me just reading it) during the week.  No video games until the weekend as long as his grades are good.


I confronted him about the weird lie about his transportation this afternoon, and then there was a stranger in front of me.

He is about 5’2″ weighs around 115lbs brown hair, and eyes very similar to mine.

He looks at me and half rolls his eyes.

He sighs, “I don’t know why I said it.”

I have seen the symptoms now for about a month.


A half an eye roll here, a mumbled word there.  “Yes Ma’am” has been replaced with, “I will.”  That may not seem like much, but imagine that being the only response you get from what used to be a non sweaty, non stinky, little boy with wide brown eyes who used to look at me with love and admiration.

Now, this manly creature looks at me like I am covered in warts, drooling all over myself due to my obviously fresh lobotomy.  Because what I am saying is annoying, bothersome, and unnecessary in his world.

Where did my little boy go?

He was eaten by the puberty monster.  And I fear these are only beginning symptoms.


I sat him down and told him, that I loved him, but if he rolls his eyes at me one more time, our relationship will drastically change and not because he decided to hit puberty.  But because if I don’t get the respect I have earned as his mother, I will not be able to give him the respect of freedom, going outside with his friends, playing video games, using his tablet.  And if the lies keep up, well, he will be on shutdown until he remembers I give him freedom because he earned it,  not because it is a birth right.

But at the end of the day, I know this is normal.  But it kinda sucks.

Alas, I will put on my armor, raise my shield and try and deflect the beams of teen angst he seems to be shooting at me.  I will hug him harder, try to teach him and love him as much as possible, and hope I come out the other side with a good human being to send out into the world.

Oh and then there is always this…


*Insert Winky Face*

As Always,

Woman on Pause

Photo Credits:

Quid Pro NOPE

My sons are respectively almost 12 and almost 9.

We have dealt with a lot of things, mostly normal things with the boys.  Custody issues with ex’s, bad conduct, anger management, girl talk, you  name it, we have come across it and I know I felt all of it coming and it seemed totally natural.

Then yesterday happened.

Short story long, my almost 12 year old came home and immediately wanted to go outside with his friends.  But Mom doth protest.  You have a room to clean, homework to do.  He was so antsy with everything.  Rushing through all of it, and in turn jacking it all up.

I am hands on hips, wagging the finger, you have to do your work first.  You promised to do your room two days ago.  You have to master Mixed fraction division, even if your Math teacher Doesn’t check your homework.

Normal mom crap.

We keep moving along our afternoon getting ready to go to my almost 9 year old’s foot ball practice. I am trying to pre-make dinner, my husband is working on his truck, my youngest is reading, some kid comes to the door asking for my 12 year old.  I tell him he will probably be out in about a half hour.

Then, instead of go outside and play he decides he wants to come with me to football practice.


Then as we are walking to the field, and my  youngest has ran to his team my oldest starts to cry.  Spilling that he was late from the bus because this kid wants to fight him.  He said that he defended a friend on the bus and the guy was all, well your mom is fat and ugly and “Has sex with girls.”  He is sobbing because he doesn’t want me or my husband, his stepdad, to freak out because he knows we don’t roll with disrespect.

I let him know it is quite different when our KIDS disrespect us, I am not worried about some punk ass 13 year old, and let him know I could care less what he says about me, and that the kid is clearly trying to get under his skin.

Then he cries and says because he didn’t show up for the fight, everyone is going to call him a chicken.  Oh and he cries and says you can’t snitch on me.  If the kids find out I am a snitch it gets 100 times worse.

Oh, and the kid at the door, is the one who wants to kick my kids ass.

Never seen him, assumed he was a friend from the neighborhood.

This kid has balls.

Came to the house. (Insert Indignation here)

“Excuse me maam, Lovely day we are having.  Could I bother you to have your son come out here so I can partake in fisticuffs with him today? Thanks so much, and enjoy your evening.”

Well great.  Then the moms at the ballpark who live in the neighborhood tell me this kid has hit broken limbs of other kids, rubbed gum in their hair, fights constantly, and spits random items onto girls. And his parents make excuses when confronted and aren’t concerned with what he is doing the three hours every day he is kicked out of his house to roam our neighborhood looking for his next victim.

So.  I can’t call the school, because if I do then I have proven the snitch theory.  I can’t protect him because he is in middle school, and that to him would be more devastating than if he got into the actual fight.  I offer to take him to school the next day.

“No.”  I have to do this.

So.  Here I am.  I know what happens next.  But I also know I probably didn’t do the most popular thing.

What would YOU do?

By the way, the entire time all this is happening I am freaking out internally.


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As Always,

Woman on Pause

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