Go Funk Yourself

SAH Log Day 28
(Stay at Home)

I have been in a funk.  For a few reasons.  None more prevalent than the fact I am in pain.  If you are new to this revelation, let me give you a summary.

  • Car Wreck 2007 – Wrecked my Hip
  • Exploratory surgery 2009, removed mass, put in anchor, 2 tears in this area.

ans7_labrum

  • Another surgery 2011 when the first one didn’t make a damned bit of difference.
  • Current – 8 cm of my squish shock bearing labrum is gone.  Bone on bone.
  • Have to get another surgery to inject cartilage.  When ever I have a chance to get a home nurse because no one else can help with eight weeks no weight bearing. – yeah because that shit is going to happen, at the end of NEVER.
  • If the above doesn’t work, hip replacement.

I take nothing but motrin for this.  Nothing else.  I was on pain medication prior to my last surgery.  Decided I couldn’t keep taking it, because what is the point.  So been 2 years since any pain medication intervention.   So I hurt a lot.  And I limp.

Funk Reason #2 I have had a bit of a hard time assimilating to this new role I have.

While I should be just all giddy and thrilled I am not working and spending time with the boys, I wasn’t aware that I was going to become a Kid Bitch.

It isn’t pretty, but it is true.  But not their fault.  Mine.

I had these awesome, pinterest pinned ideas about how we would spend this summer.  As an unknown, I just assumed.

You know what happens when you assume.

I have been a kid runner.  I had so many things I wanted to do, so many things I wanted to accomplish, and I feel I have done none of these, nor lived up to my vision or what I assume others vision of what I would be doing.

Football, Baseball, Basketball camp, sleepovers, Nana’s, beach, pool, kids wanting to visit friends, mandatory family outings, grocery store, laundry, Three meals a day, house cleaning, running, running, running.

Something, lots of things.  Every.damned.day. I know none of this sounds bad, but this is ALL I HAVE DONE.

I finally took an hour to get a pedicure last Thursday.  In the first 10 minutes I get a call.

“I need my bat bag.  It is in your car.”

The rest doesn’t matter.  I couldn’t even get 10 minutes. Not 10 minutes in 20 solid days.

Needless to say, it all started to get to me.

Then I spoke to my hubs.  Who is not perfect, but by far my saving grace and biggest cheer leader.  The one.

He reminded me *I* am important too.
I owe no one.
I can’t do it all.
I am a good mom.
I am a good wife.
I am CEO of this house and I need to run it to benefit me too.
He is only worried about my happiness.

And I felt better.

All of my other woes will be sorted out one way or the other.  But I finally had a paradigm shift.

I Can’t Do It All.

And that is ok.

Sometimes life just isn’t perfect.  But what is?

As always,

Woman on Pause.

PS.  Sorry for the rant, but this was one of the exact reasons I started to blog again.  A diary of sorts.  A timeline of recovery and discovery.

Photo Credit. http://www.mayoclinic.com/images/image_popup/ans7_labrum.jpg