Namaste. You Filthy Animal.

Good morning.  This will be my 2nd entry in a week.  Holy hell, I’m on a roll.  But not a yeast roll or a dinner roll because I am on a diet.  And the closest thing I get to bread is when I dream about it at night.  Mmmmmm bread. And don’t get me started on pasta.  *Sniff*

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But enough about that.  Don’t worry I’m not crash dieting, per se.  I am just trying to get back on track.  Now that I sit all day and don’t clean, I had to improve my caloric intake.  It is just math folks.  And I am taking 15 minute walks daily.  I anticipate that being 30-45 min once the weather stays groovy.

But, that being said I started this blog for a whole other reason.  I have started to meditate.  And let me tell you something.

It is FAN-friggin-Tastic.  I meditate to sleep, I meditate in the morning, I meditate when I get overwhelmed.  I downloaded the app, Instant Timer, and I am in LOVE.

*Except I got a message from some Russian guy that said, “Thanks for meditating with me last night.”

Um, what?  On the app there is a list of people meditating at that moment and I guess he thought, “well let me message this stranger because it’s the internet and of course it has to get fucking weird.”

Ugh People.

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The weather is getting warmer and I feel like I am starting to shake off the most chaotic winter I have ever experienced.  It was Cray Town.

But now the sun is shining, I am in love with it getting dark much later, and that all means…

It’s almost Beach time!!!

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For the first time in about 2 years, I am planning on spending some quality time at the beach. I miss it terribly.  I miss every single thing about it.  Except, that thing that touches your foot and makes you leap out of the water screaming that you are going to die.  Oh, and sharks.

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Which this is why I also started the diet and attempt to get off my ass and move around more.  See we’ve come full circle.  I love it when that happens.

As Always,

Woman On Pause

Photo Credits
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17572583-i-love-pasta.

http://www.lovethispic.com/image/75561/dear-winter.

My Love Affair. The IRS Version.

I am 38 years old.  I have been filing taxes since I was 17.  That is 21 years of tax love between me and the IRS.  If the IRS and I had a baby it would be of legal drinking age this year.  I have a feeling she would be a difficult child.

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I would hope that child would get my sense of humor and the IRS’s knack for numbers.

I am trying to have a sense of humor regarding my taxes.  I am waiting on a sizable refund and short story long, we submitted 01/30/16.  They flagged us, then admitted it was their mistake, and said they would reprocess.  That takes me to today.  04/04/16.  Over 65 days since we filed.  I am making my weekly call as we speak.  Trying to understand, trying to be patient.

Trying

hurry

I am currently listening to the soothing sound of IRS hold music while trying as hard as I can to remember not to have a single SMIDGE of attitude towards whomever gets my call.  Because last person you want to piss off is the IRS.  Hell we didn’t even do anything incorrectly and our 3K is being held hostage.

Held just because…

Current time on Hold:  22 Minutes

Talking to a lovely woman (no sarcasm) but have again been placed on hold
Current time on Hold: 32 Minutes

This being my 4th call, we just found out that they had our wrong address.  Which is TOTES weird since, A. We filed with our current (new) address.  And B. I have made 4 other filth flarn and filth calls and this has NEVER come up.

I am trying so hard to let this go.  But, we never received a notification there was a problem (we still have a mail forward in, so we would have received it) we keep calling, being reassured it isn’t our fault.  And they’re working on it.

I have decided it has been placed upon the desk of a person I can only assume, unfortunately had a rather nasty attack of Shingles, and has been out of the office since 2/22/16.

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My return is in the 2nd stack to the left under the black folder.  I can see my name.

I swear it is lost.  None of this makes any sense.

I was just told there is NOTHING they can do.  They are allowed the 9 weeks to reprocess my return.  Even if it is their fault.  And if it still has no movement by 4/11 then they have 45 days to research.  Dear LORD give me patience and liquor.

Current time on Hold: 45 minutes

I was given a number for a “Taxpayer Advocate” number. Estimated wait time 2-4 minutes with the Advocate.

Score!!!

I will keep everyone updated.  All 3 followers I have left because I have been chilling with Netflix and my head in the sand for the last 6 months.

PS. “Love” and “The Ranch” were surprisingly good series on Netflix.  Give em a shot.

As Always,

Woman on Pause

 

 

Photo Credits:
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/29/88/e7/2988e7540ba1131c4c3db00fddef4340.jpg.
http://uberhumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Untitled-1383.png.
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/qmt-o97hykk/hqdefault.jpg.