The Best Intentions

Hidee Ho fellow bloggers and readers.

Happy 2014.

I am posting today and tomorrow.  I am doing two posts because this one is more of a checking in moment for myself than it is for you guys.  I mean, I want you to enjoy the post, but this is where I am ready to gut check. Hard.

Tomorrow’s will be light and whimsical and have more pictures.  I like blogs with pictures that make me giggle.  Which is really my goal for 95% of my posts.

Gut check time.

gut check

It has been 8 months since I quit my job.  I just had to figure that out on my fingers. I couldn’t believe the math in my head (remember I was in Finance) so I busted out my hands and counted on my fingers.  It is the equivalent to taking a pregnancy test and seeing two blue lines, but then having to refer to the box instructions because you are dumbfounded, in a good or bad way, to believe you are reading it right.

I have mentioned several times I am not a New Year Resolution Gal.  But at this point, I need to be a “Hey, it has been 8 months you need to get off your ass and accomplish something” Gal.  I have blogged.  As you can read.  I have written.  But very little.  This makes me sad.  But it is my own doing. I can blame a lot of things but it is my own damned fault.

So I am setting a goal.  Three days a week, I am going to spend time on blogging and writing.  No less than 2 hours a day to start.  I am also going to review my Statistics skills by going through my old college text and attempting to review each lesson.  That is also 3 times a week no less than 2 hours a day.

Ultimately I am going back to school.  So I need to bone up on study skills and be in the habit of college before I get there.

This is what I would look like if I just did what I do now, then decided to take on 3 classes.

pop_art_cartoon_ginger_woman_tearing_hair_out_-_154569740__medium_4x3

I know this about myself.  I have been down that road before.

Thirdly, I must lose weight.  I look scarily similar to the woman in the first photo, but I am smart enough to wear long enough shirts.  I am partially doing this because I want to look better, but mostly because I REFUSE to buy new clothes.  I am at my largest range of sizes and it is this, or muffin top alley.  Not buying new clothes.  Nope.    Being at home has caused weight gain of about 10lbs, and I needed to lose at least 10 when I left my job.

These may seem like lofty goals, but I am excited.  I need a bit of structure.  Yeah, I keep my house clean and cook most meals and do the daily stuff, but none of that really has a deadline or any structure.  I kinda miss it.  Which is very odd to me.

So.  Wish me luck, and I hope that everyone’s new year is going Smashingly.

As Always,

Woman on Pause

Photo credits:
http://media.peopleofwalmart.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/560.jpg.
http://www.mountaintopquilting.com/media/uploads/2013/12/09/images/pop_art_cartoon_ginger_woman_tearing_hair_out_-_154569740__medium_4x3.jpg.

Dreamy…

I had a dream last night.  I dreamt that I had written two maybe three sentences and it was brilliant, cohesive, and beautiful.  Somehow within these few words I had gathered all needed aspects of a good short story and represented them in twenty words.  And not just represented well, but I knew it would be praised, studied, and revered. 

I recall moments before I popped out of this dream, saying to my sleeping self, “Don’t forget this.  It is important and will change your life.  You will have doors open to write as much as you like, always if that is what you want.  And it is.”

Then I woke up.

As I got out of bed and tried to shake the sleep off of me I remembered that I had a dream.  I knew it was important.  When I tried to dig deep back into the details I realized the premise.  When I tried to open the door to the actual passage all I saw were words typed on a page very similar to what I am typing on now.  But I couldn’t read them.  But I knew they were there.

This dream showed me that what I have is inside me I just need to get it on paper.  I may have even been disappointed, no I would have, to not have conjured those words on my own but had my subconscious feed them to me on a platter.  I want to feel the writing, I want to live in it, and I want to breathe it in.

So the purpose of this blog has been decided.  While I will come forth and have a good time and rant and rave about silly things and not so silly things, I am setting a goal of one short story every fifteen days.  I will allow myself to go to twenty but nothing beyond that. 

Gotta start somewhere.  Right?

 
 

And the journey begins...

 

 As Always,

 Woman on Pause

 

Purpose. Not to be confused with Porpoise.

Tis I again.  Your woman on perpetual pause.  Clearly I am into alliteration with all the P’s today.  But that makes sense because I swear I have peed 100 times since 10am.  Granted, information you probably don’t want to know but I am ok with that. 

Purpose.  I was watching Julie and Julia or vice versa the other day and was then reminded of said blog.  I thought to myself, Should I have some sort of purpose or goal for this blog?  A goal to be achieved so people will want to come back day in and day out to chart my progress.  To see if I have fallen flat on my face or have triumphed over all the odds.

Well.  I have no purpose.  Actually I have a lot of purpose regarding normal life things.  I need to make money, I need to be a good mom, I need to be a good wife, friend, daughter, blah blah blah.  But do I have a purpose for this blog?

No.

Not yet at least.  Today my only purpose has really been to see how many useless apps I can add to my droid before I blow it up.  My other purpose is to feel ok enough to decorate our tree tonight with the kids. 

You will notice a theme in my blogs.  I hurt.  I am going to try real hard not to go on and on about it, no one likes a whiner.  But today, it is my hip and my lower back.  And I just want to go home and make sweet sweet love to my heating pad while sucking on a soma lozenge.  But the kids are really looking forward to it, so it is suck it up time.

I digress.  I am going to actively pursue some sort of goal for this blog.  Let it not stand as a whine bag and vent locker for my own narcissistic needs and desires.  Let it be something that motivates me towards…

something.

Maybe I will try to write a short story per week or month and post it here.  That would make me happy.  I love the short story.  Like, I want to make out with it and feel it up and maybe get to third base with it. 

Check back and see what I have decided on.  Or feel free to make your own suggestions.  The only thing I can’t really do is move a lot.  So keep that into consideration whilst suggesting a porpoise. 

Yes porpoise.  Every time I type the word purpose I say “porpoise” in my head.  I don’t know why.  I think because it is spelled funny and yet sounds just like purpose. 

Then I found this, and decided it was fate that I get these two words, that have nothing to do with each other, confused.

See, I am not the only one

http://dogs.icanhascheezburger.com/2008/06/25/funny-dog-pictures-iz-ur-porpoise-here/  *

*If I use an image that isn’t mine I will always do my best to give credit.  Because I can’t finance a cheezeburger right now, so someone should get credit.

As always,

Woman_on_Pause

PS.  I learned from wikipedia that porpoises are also called, “Mereswine.”  Is that like calling someone fat or nearly fat?  Boggles the mind.