Weak Sauce

For the last week I have been talking with some friends, ironically in a secret group on Facebook, about leaving Facebook.  After a lot of contemplation I decided to deactivate my account.  Not delete.  I have too many pictures to delete.  This is just the beginning of the weakness.  Buckle up, it gets weak as hell soon.

Weak sauce

Let me go back.  I know that my information was harvested or farmed out or whatever it is called.  (I sure hope my data enjoys living on the farm, all the space in the world to run, play with other data.)
I know that Facebook didn’t do enough to stop it.  And if I’m understanding correctly it swayed the election. Which means that:

Trump = Tracy Enid Flick
Cambridge Analytical =Mr. McAllister
American People = Mr. McAllister’s Wife

Election

But that’s not 100% why I wanted to walk away.  I wanted to walk away because it seems, I hate people.  Not all people, of course.  I have “Snoozed” dozens over the last few months.  And the meme’s about guns and bombs and “Oh so we should just ban bombs right??, just keep coming.  And every time I see one, I verbally assault the screen, and then snooze or delete them.

I get you have your opinions.  Coolio.  But to make jokes about kids or people dying to prove your point.  Not Fucking OK.  Never FUCKING ok.  Think before you speak you fucking asshole.  Think before you share fake news sites.  Just look at the damned link.  Do you really think this “Breaking News Article” about how the Government is coming to your home in 3 days to take your AR’s, your rifles, your pistols, your steak knives, grandma’s knitting needles, etc. Do you REALLY believe that?

durkadrr
“ThYDRRKURGRNS”

And a quick FYI.  https://fauxnoos.com isn’t a real news site.  Just take a moment and THINK.

That being said, I am not in a position to judge. (Even though I am totally judging.) I say this because I try not to post political things.  Because I want to talk to my Great Aunt again, or that guy I see at Publix at least once a month.  But, no matter how  vanilla I keep things, everyone keeps vomiting fake websites, and meme’s essentially making a joke or jab at dead kids.  Or God forbid, kids who are fed up and had the marbles to say something about it.  I am not in a position to judge because I did deactivate.

It lasted 4 hours.

I had to reactivate because…

CC
Yep.  Candy Crush.  Enter the Weaksauce.  Look, you  judge me all you want.  But every day after I get off work, I sit on my front porch and play that game until I run out of lives. About 15 minutes. It is relaxing, it is quiet, and I like it.  But if you don’t have facebook to link the game to, you will lose your progress.

*Sigh*
Whatever. I tried.

As always,

Woman on Pause

*Side note:  I did delete the app and messenger from my phone.  So I can’t go on there unless I REAALLLLLLLLLLLLLY try.  And my motivation was to step away from getting angry for no good damned reason.  They can express all day long.  I just don’t have to look at it.

*2nd Side Note: I believe in the right to bear arms.  So take whatever may be thrown my way over that Southpark picture, and stuff it.

 

Photo Credits:

https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/1826195-weak-sauce
https://wondersinthedark.wordpress.com/2012/08/13/95-election-1999/

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.king.candycrushsaga

Story of a Facebook Reject

I decided yesterday to start a Woman on Pause page on facebook.  There have been some groups lately that have been reminiscing about Myspace blogging days.  And what I took out of this blast from the past was that I miss being able to say what I want on social media.  I know, Myspace is like your skeevy ex boyfriend you don’t like to be reminded of.  I feel the same way.  But, around 2005 – 2007 before everyone was on it, I used to blog.  And I read blogs, and interacted with what turned out to be friends to this day. 

 

Image

You know it is bad when Tom doesn’t even log in. 

 

Right now, it is impossible for me to put what I want to say on Facebook.  Not that I have something really dirty or controversial to share, but I censor everything I put out there.  And really, anything I post is more pictures so in case my computer crashes again, I have them.

So, I decided to get away from my personal page and start a Woman on Pause page.

Not so fast, said facebook.

FB – You need a REAL name. 

Me – But that is the name I want to use.

FB – But that isn’t your REAL name.

Me – Wait, how do you know?

FB – Oh, I know.

Image

It really wouldn’t let me start anything until I put in what Facebook deemed a REAL name. I conjured up a fake name, something similar to Woman on Pause so I could start my Woman on Pause page.

What kind of Fuckery is that? What do THEY care?  I used a made up name anyway.  It was frustrating to say the least.

Anywho, that being said, I finally managed to get the page going.

 

TA DA!

https://www.facebook.com/womaonpause

Please feel free to drop by, like the page, etc. etc.  I will be linking this blog and links to any writing I am doing or putting out there.  (See I haven’t abandoned my goals completely)  ((Yet…))

I will also be using this page to, wait for it…

To say what I feel like saying. 

And what is awesome about it, is while I love my Grandfather, Great Aunts, and former elementary school teachers, they won’t be inundated with my nonsense. 

Just you guys. 

You’re Welcome. 

 

As Always,

 

Woman on Pause

 

 

Photo Credit:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QcIc_dl050w/TtQi3wADOSI/AAAAAAAADWA/I-oq6ziwH9s/s1600/Funny%2Bpictures%2Bfor%2Bfacebook.png.
http://tosh.comedycentral.com/blog/files/2010/02/tom-is-dead.jpg.

Face Value

I want to figure out a way to get my picture on my blog home page.  WordPress and I will do 50 rounds until I get it just the way I like it.  But I still feel like I am not accurately representing myself in my current photo.

The one I see on the top right.

I am not totally sure if ANYONE can see it. But I can see it, and it urks me.  I am at least 20lbs lighter and have long hair.  The picture is a good three years old.  Feels fraudulent.

I like to know what people look like, and I assume others do as well.  I think of it as a conversation, I am talking you are talking, we should know what we look like.

So. Without further ado, my most recent shot taken on Sunday.  I had blow dried my hair and actually applied some make up.  What!!!!!!

A picture had to be taken to monument the occasion.

1170680_10151615542228354_760572667_n

The funny thing about this, I feel the same way about Facebook, so I posted it there.

Someone mentioned what a great glow I had.

Well…

I did that face glow thing you can do when you edit your pictures.  Not so I look angelic, but because my right eye (left eye in pic) looked green underneath.  Like I was recovering from my first night at Fight Club. Sorry  no one is supposed to talk about Fight Club. Forget I mentioned it.

The fix worked, so voila!

But then someone pointed out I was glowing, and it was called “Face Glow.”

This is the original picture.

orig

A little shinier, and that weird green under eye thing.  I hope I am not a total fraud.

After typing all of this though, I realize I am probably vain and neurotic.  Ugh.  I hate self realizations.

(I also know this because I took like 20 selfies to get the best one.  I CAN’T be the only one that does this.)

Truth in blogging THIS is what I look like day in and day out since I stopped working.

papas

Hair up, no make up, sunglasses firmly planted on head, same khaki shorts, easy peasy.

And the truth shall set you free.

So, this is the person behind this blog.  Hope it finds each and every one of you well.

As always,

Woman on Pause

The Big Cleanse

I have heard so much lately about these products that are a “Full Body Cleanse.” These magical products flush all of the toxins out of your body so you can basically start fresh.  Now, naysayers seem to think that the body flushes these toxins out naturally and to assist in the matter can cause more harm than good.  I can see this point.  I think up until this point that’s what has stopped me from trying a “Cleanse.”

Today is the day I am going to give it a shot.

While I realize the last paragraph has led you to believe I am going to ingest a product that will clean out my colon, that is not what it is I am going to do.  I am doing a remarkable new cleanse that cleans out your mind.

I have officially had it up to ————- <—- there

with just about everyone and every thing.  There are certain things in this life I need to concentrate on and I can’t do it with all of the constant noise. 

Time to quiet it all down.

If there is no mental noise, no outside interference (My Interference: Try to imagine the most annoying noise you have ever heard of, the shrill fire alarm type.) Without that interference I can proceed with, “Out with the old, in with the new.”

I feel this would be even more satisfying than what the “Colon Cleanse” promises.  And without the icky dehydration afterwards.

I am going to be schluffing (Yes this is a word, if for no other reason that I just made it one) off the old that is holding back the new refreshed psyche that is literally beating at the walls to be set free.

Before I get into numbered steps and things most of you really  just won’t care about, I will add some levity to this post.  But just once.  Don’t get excited…

I am about to be as funny, and as happily oblivious as this dog.

Step One

I did the FB break.  And I did ok for a while.  It was very revealing, the fact I literally couldn’t stay away. But every day I have peeked since that proclamation I am sickened by what I see and read.  For no other reason than I tend to read everything in a whiny, or condescending voice.  I can’t help it.  It all seems generic, without feeling, soul-less, empty.  Blech.  So the FB is out.  Oh, and ironically I found a NEW social networking site while I promised I would stay off the old one!  Google+  Yeah, no.   That shit’s gone too.  I think at one point these sites will benefit me (financially or to promote), but now… Negative.

Step Two

Time to get rid of those who are bringing me down.  Or at least don’t care where I am as long as I am “there for them” or “a good friend that drops everything for your anything.”  That shit’s gotta go.  And I can truly say it only got that way out of my honest sense of, “Maybe I am over reacting.  Maybe it is just me.  Maybe it isn’t as bad as I think it is.”

Nope, it is.  Perhaps worst.  And I am always guilty of this.  Hanging on way too damned long.  I think it comes from, I never want to have a regret so I hang in their to make doubly sure it is done.  What ends up happening though, I end up regretting the time I wasted by NOT nipping that mess in the bud.

Step C

Other people’s bullshit.  Specifically people I don’t like (but due to divorce HAVE to deal with.)

That has to go too.  So in a sense it is a bit like a metaphorical colon cleanse.  I don’t care about, nor will I continue to be inundated by the crap of people who honestly I could smack in the mouth if it weren’t for the fact I would go to jail.  I don’t even like you, and your life is STILL somehow effecting mine.

Do do have to go right now! (Please read that last line with the bladder control jingle won’t you?)  <–revision remark.  See how it says “Do Do have to go right now. It was supposed to say, “You DO Have to go right now.  It was a play on that catchy bladder control medicine jingle.  But I find it Hysterically ironic on a blog I have compared mental ickiness with poo, I typed Do Do instead of You do.  HA! 

I feel better already. Insert colon and half parenthesis on that little thought. (And yet another COLON reference.  Dying of giggles over here….)

Time for me to concentrate on getting me out of this lawsuit mess.  Or at least getting through it.  Time for me to focus on getting the kids ready to go back to school.  Time for me to stop dwelling on things that just don’t matter.  Not even a little.  But I use the useless things to fester upon to divert myself from the actual aggravation I feel, and it’s creepy, dark, nougatey, source. comma comma comma I hate commas and use way too many.  I know this…

Time to get this leg fixed.  One way or the other.  Time to stop feeling ashamed because I have had to treat it to make it through.  I am here now, so let’s get this ball rolling. 

This entire post can basically be broken down into these few, but yet so every important words,

“Fuck this noise”

Ahhhhhhhhhhh.  Ok. 

Step V

Make the plan to quit smoking.  I have until 08/31 to have this snuffed out. 

We can and will do this. 

It is time.

Conclusion

I really think that when I re-visit on 08/30 and discuss how things have gone in the last 45 days, I believe it will be like night and day. 

And I can say this, because at this point, if I don’t do something about this, it will now be my fault for wallowing.  And GD-mit I hate a wallower.  I mean the word itself makes me feel a bit of puke rise up in the back of my throat. 

So.  Wish me well in my journey to cleanse out the shit.  Pun intended even though so horribly obvious. 

I mean look at Beyonce.  She cleaned out the shit, and she seems happy as all hell!

"Clean as a whistle y'all!"

As always,

Woman on Pause

P.S – After re-reading and revising this post, I have changed my mood drastically.  I still feel that writing out the mess makes me feel 100% better.  Works every damned time.  I suggest it highly. 

Photo Credit”

http://themastercleanserecipe.net/master-cleanse-secrets-review/

A Farewell to Facebook

I was reading “The Less than Domestic Goddess” yesterday and her post was about how she realized it had been one year since she quit Facebook.  (http://www.thelessthandomesticgoddess.com/ – I suggest this blog, She is great)

This revelation got me thinking.  What exactly am I getting from Facebook?  I talk to people who are close to me, and honestly if I’m not, I should be.  I shouldn’t rely upon the internet and social media to maintain relationships. 

So, I made the decision to take some time off.  I am going to stay away for a year.  I made all of my photos private, except for the one’s that didn’t include the kids, cleaned up my profile, confirmed my security settings and posted the following quote, “Remember, Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”

And I meant it. 

Basically, there is too much of this life to live to be worried about how my ex-boyfriend from High School’s dog is doing since it fell ill.  Or how someone I haven’t seen since grammar school is peeved about the red light in her neighborhood.  Why do I need to know this?  That’s right, I don’t.

Also, it became some odd habit to check it all the time. Did someone post on my wall?  Did I get a picture comment? 

Really? I am 34, I realized no matter how many other people do this, it make me feel silly.

So, I decided to spend any time I was going to spend on Facebook, writing, or cultivating ideas about writing.  I may still surf my regular break sites like Jezebel.com, CNN.com, NPR.org, etc. but for the most part I have bid adieu to Facebook. 

Wish me luck, just don’t post it on my wall. 

I won’t see it.  😉

 

As Always,

Woman on Pause