Nikita & Sergei

Those are the names of my crutches.  After Kinkita (<—-That was too funny of a typo to leave out.  And if I ever start a band it will be named this or SlaughterMelon.)

Anywho, my crutches are named after the Khrushchev’s.  Because I think they are evil and crutches and Khrushchev sound similar.

Yep.  Don’t judge.  It has been a long six weeks.

I had my six week follow up today and it seems me and Sergei and Nikita will be as one for about another three weeks.  I finally feel like I am starting to see the light at the end of this tunnel.  Which is full of awesome.

I did tell my doctor that it may be beneficial for someone at his office to have a leaflet or pamphlet explaining what being on crutches will be like.  As in, “Hey buddy, you left me uninformed and stupefied with this 10 weeks of constant crutch use.” 

People don’t know.  I didn’t know.  No one knows. Until you are crutch deep in a wet lawn.

It sounds silly.  I had a general idea.  But I had really ZERO clue about how challenging (aka a pain in my damned ass) this would be.

This is what happened at week 5 when I tried to bring in the garbage can.

I just left it there.  I knew someone would come along at some point and bring it in.

This is what happens when I go through a door and try and keep my cat from escaping.

Balancing on one foot trying to sword fight a cat.  The entire time going, “Nooooooooooo….. Nooooooooo”

There are Pro’s to this situation as well. 

  • My arms look fantastic.  More toned than they have been in years.  Seriously.  I am taking advance orders for tickets to the Gun Show.  (This is the cheesiest pic ever taken.  But it had to be done.) 


  • I have lost 8lbs.  Mostly because I only eat what can be eaten standing up in front of my fridge. 
  • My balance and core are better than they have been in years. 
  • People instinctively get out of my way.  At all times, in all places.  Doors are opened, smiles are given, it is nice.


This has been one helluva ride.  Hopefully at the other end I will be more functional than when I started.  Which clearly is the point.  But it can get lost because 10 weeks is one heck of a long time. 

One crutch in front of the other.


As Always,

Woman on Pause



Fell off the Grid (Blog Wise)

Jumped is more like it.   I just took a very long nap from blogging.  And come to find out my domain needed renewing and shut down completely.

Now THAT is a break.

But, I am back.  And if I weren’t on my way to Physical Therapy I would provide a detailed story about how crutches are of the devil.  And how I am still on them after 5 weeks.  And I have 5 weeks to go. 

Riveting.  I know.

Hope all of you are well, and I will be back.  Sooner than later this time.



Woman on Pause

Still here.

I swear.  Five days out of surgery.  Seems they had to fracture my bone to promote cartilage growth and inject cadaver cartilage into my left hip.  I am looking at 8 weeks on crutches.  Can’t put any weight on my left leg.  At all.

For 8 weeks.

My armpits hurt.  I’m just sayin.

Still on a decent regimen of pain killers, muscle relaxers, etc etc. 

So not able to wax sarcastic here quite yet.

But I am getting there.

Hope all of you are fine as wine and dandy as candy.


As Always,


Woman on Pause