Quid Pro NOPE

My sons are respectively almost 12 and almost 9.

We have dealt with a lot of things, mostly normal things with the boys.  Custody issues with ex’s, bad conduct, anger management, girl talk, you  name it, we have come across it and I know I felt all of it coming and it seemed totally natural.

Then yesterday happened.

Short story long, my almost 12 year old came home and immediately wanted to go outside with his friends.  But Mom doth protest.  You have a room to clean, homework to do.  He was so antsy with everything.  Rushing through all of it, and in turn jacking it all up.

I am hands on hips, wagging the finger, you have to do your work first.  You promised to do your room two days ago.  You have to master Mixed fraction division, even if your Math teacher Doesn’t check your homework.

Normal mom crap.

We keep moving along our afternoon getting ready to go to my almost 9 year old’s foot ball practice. I am trying to pre-make dinner, my husband is working on his truck, my youngest is reading, some kid comes to the door asking for my 12 year old.  I tell him he will probably be out in about a half hour.

Then, instead of go outside and play he decides he wants to come with me to football practice.


Then as we are walking to the field, and my  youngest has ran to his team my oldest starts to cry.  Spilling that he was late from the bus because this kid wants to fight him.  He said that he defended a friend on the bus and the guy was all, well your mom is fat and ugly and “Has sex with girls.”  He is sobbing because he doesn’t want me or my husband, his stepdad, to freak out because he knows we don’t roll with disrespect.

I let him know it is quite different when our KIDS disrespect us, I am not worried about some punk ass 13 year old, and let him know I could care less what he says about me, and that the kid is clearly trying to get under his skin.

Then he cries and says because he didn’t show up for the fight, everyone is going to call him a chicken.  Oh and he cries and says you can’t snitch on me.  If the kids find out I am a snitch it gets 100 times worse.

Oh, and the kid at the door, is the one who wants to kick my kids ass.

Never seen him, assumed he was a friend from the neighborhood.

This kid has balls.

Came to the house. (Insert Indignation here)

“Excuse me maam, Lovely day we are having.  Could I bother you to have your son come out here so I can partake in fisticuffs with him today? Thanks so much, and enjoy your evening.”

Well great.  Then the moms at the ballpark who live in the neighborhood tell me this kid has hit broken limbs of other kids, rubbed gum in their hair, fights constantly, and spits random items onto girls. And his parents make excuses when confronted and aren’t concerned with what he is doing the three hours every day he is kicked out of his house to roam our neighborhood looking for his next victim.

So.  I can’t call the school, because if I do then I have proven the snitch theory.  I can’t protect him because he is in middle school, and that to him would be more devastating than if he got into the actual fight.  I offer to take him to school the next day.

“No.”  I have to do this.

So.  Here I am.  I know what happens next.  But I also know I probably didn’t do the most popular thing.

What would YOU do?

By the way, the entire time all this is happening I am freaking out internally.


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As Always,

Woman on Pause

Gif Credits:

Back in the Saddle, Hand Guns, and other Musings

So, I refused to go to the doctor.  I don’t “Hate” doctors per se but I am a mom and I know that if you aren’t running a fever and only have a mildly productive cough, no matter how sick of it you are, they aren’t going to do jack crap.

So I took my 11 year old to Basketball practice, loaded up on Motrin, and purchased some Mucinex.  Good as new.

Sort of, is it hot in here?  Nah, it is just 91 degrees outside.

So.  While we were at basketball practice (a half hour early because that is how I roll) the two boys were playing robbers and had their hands shaped as guns.

We were in front of the middle school gym, and school is out, but all of a sudden all the news articles about little kids pointing their fingers like guns and being hanged on the spot came to mind.  Ok, maybe not hanged, but they call the cops, or kick them out for a week, or something completely unnecessary.

http://www.koco.com/image/view/-/18060628/medRes/1/-/u3objp/-/img-Local-boy-suspended-for-making-gun-gesture-with-hand.jpg  – I am linking this here because well it is relevant.

Speaking of relevance, as I was searching for an image of a kid making a gun with his hand, I swear this is what popped up.



Now, this is not a post to start a gun debate.  I don’t like debating.  My view is mine, yours is yours.  Done.  See how easy that was?

But, I noticed on all of these articles, and the one’s I have seen recently, the majority of these kids are elementary or younger school children.

I am all for zero tolerance for a child of ANY age bringing a firearm to school or weapon of any sort.  They gots to go.  No problem.

But to suspend or to extremely punish a child for making a gun sign with his hand, come on now America.  Really?

I might understand if the kid was 12 and up.  I MIGHT kinda sorta if I reached really hard.  They understand the implications.

But a 7 year old?

And yet, what did I do when I saw my 8 year old and 11 year old do it?  I hushed yelled, DON’T EVER MAKE A GUN GESTURE ANYWHERE, ESPECIALLLLLYYYYYYYYYYY A SCHOOL.  I know you guys are playing, but this isn’t a point to debate.  JUST DON’T do it.

The entire rest of the day I am going to have this on my mind.

How do you teach a kid it isn’t ok to pretend, because some mental cases went in and shot kids at schools?  How do you tell them children died?  And the result is a banned hand gesture that was never ever ever meant in any way shape or form to connect with these events?

I can’t.  I don’t want to tell them about murdered children.  (Note:  I did have a talk with my 11 year old to a point, and to a pointttttttttt my 8 year old after Sandy Hook) but in no way can I relate it back to two fingers pointing with the thumb up.

Maybe I am wrong, but it just seems like a bit much.

As always,

Woman on Pause

Go Home Florida, you’re Drunk

Oh Florida.

My home state and Birthplace. I always feel Florida gets a bad rap (or is it wrap?  I dunno).  All the crime and insanity being reported seemed out of proportion maybe because I am from Florida so I just notice it more?  There must be the same amount of complete idiocy and general fuckery going on everywhere.


I am just not sure anymore.

I have stated before about my love affair with DailyMail.com.  It is a UK online publication but has a US page and frankly I am on there more than I am in my kitchen.

And I am in my kitchen a lot.  BTW, foods, all the foods, they are mine. 

So I got on my internet research hat,

Yes my sleuth hat is a visor.  This is Florida Dammit.  It is hot.

And began to look around.  Trying to figure out if there is another state, preferably on the Eastern Seaboard that has comparable crime/population/insanity.

I did NOT know that Florida is the 4th largest populated state, behind New York, California and Texas.  OK, well that is the first problem.  We are a decently sized state with way too many damned people.

After going through Wikipedia it seems that Florida isn’t the WORST per capita, but the South itself IS the worst in the country.  It seems that D.C. is the worst of the worst.  I have never been there and have no opinion on that.

I wanted to know what makes it seem like Florida is growing more crazy than oranges.

By the way, this is what started this search.  (Amongst the 1,558,278 articles I see FL mentioned)


So.  First off, their bucket list wish was to steal from a Walmart.  Ok, but was one dying??  Isn’t that what a Bucket list is?!?  And they were from Ocala.  This article, as stated above was from Dailymail.co/uk

A quote from this article, “The items? Beef jerky and a bathing suit.”

How does one wrap their head around this one?


I sat there for a while, and this was all I had…


Sigh.Really though, I read a lot of news, watch some.  And it always seems like the oddest, and frankly sometimes the sickest news comes out of Florida.  And the comments are always, “Oh they are from Florida, it all makes sense.”  I don’t know why that bothers me.  It is like someone talking bad about your brother.  You can talk shit all day long but anyone else, they are just an ass.

I love my state.  It is pretty friggin awesome if you give it a chance.  I mean we are a peninsula for the love of Oprah.  There are beaches everywhere.

And frankly everyone should avoid the Wal-mart anyway so if you just steer clear you should be fine.

So, no meat bathing suits, no Wal-mart, and just go to the damned beach.  I was there yesterday and it was awesome.  Sand in the crack of my everything and all.

Good times.

Oh and Florida, shape up.  Your crazy is starting to show.
As Always,

Woman on Pause


I am sure my vast array of tens of readers are getting tired of the build up.


Ho damned hum…………..

I swear there is a reason for it.  I have to keep this info confidential until it goes down. Which will be around 8:30 – 9:00am tomorrow EST.

I’m coming out.  Not like that, but it will make more sense soon.  Try to get that song out of your head now.  PDiddy or Dianna Ross version choose your poison.

D-Ross doing it OG style

This one is for us who appreciate a good sampling

Puff and Biggie http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZ4tNmnuMgQ

Back story alert.

My name is Sarah. *HI!!!!!! Waves wildly*

I have a husband, which I refer to fondly as “Hubs.”  We have been married for three years.  We re-connected as childhood sweethearts thanks to the almighty FB.  I have two kids, and two step kids who live three hours away.  I have been in Finance for twelve years and working in an office environment for the last eighteen years.  I started work the Monday after graduation.  I have my AA in Accounting and am working on my Bachelors.

This info is relevant.

But understandably boring.  SO.  After tomorrow’s announcement this will make a bit more sense.  Until then, let’s comb the internet for some interesting nuggets.  Shall we?

Current Events time kids!
Criss Cross Applesauce and let’s see what’s happening around the world. 

A fluff piece to start.
What in the hell is going on with Amanda Bynes?  I wasn’t young enough to enjoy her stint on Nickelodeon, but have seen and enjoyed her in several movies.  It seems she has lost her mind and the media is feeding on it like a lemur with a broken leg.


Summary:  This girl is either going all Joaquin Phoenix, or she needs an intervention STAT.  Not necessarily the drug kind but shit is going wrong fast.  I can speak for her what she can’t.  “Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllp”

Arrested Development.  Soak it in.  Soak.it.in.

This. All.day.long

This. All.day.long

VAGINA. Because this is news.

 Gina to my friends.

In the “Are you Fucking kidding me” file:  Segregation meets GA 2013. SMH

I am from and live in the south.  It may be FL but I spent six years working in GA and I can not believe that
B. HOW is this just now happening????

I am not ashamed that I am from the South, but the link above gives me a sad.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s big news.  Well< it is big for me.  Not Biggie Smalls big, just big.

As Always,

Woman on Pause

Former ricin suspect happy with vindication as probe continues

I am sorry, can I just bring attention to the top sentence of this article.
“(CNN) – Did someone try to frame Elvis impersonator Paul Kevin Curtis by sending ricin-tainted letters to President Barack Obama and other officials?” You can’t make this shit up people.

You just can’t.

Sharing is caring,

Woman on Pause

CNN Political Ticker

(CNN) — FBI agents on Wednesday searched the former martial arts studio of a Tupelo man in connection with the investigation into ricin-tainted letters sent to President Barack Obama and other officials, the man’s lawyer, Lori Basham, told CNN.

Agents in hazardous materials suits had searched James Everett Dutschke’s home on Tuesday, the same day prosecutors dropped charges against the man arrested last week on suspicion of sending the letters.

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Amish man has delusions of Weiner.

I say the title in my head with great sarcasm.  At least regarding this specific Amish man.  I think as in all groups there are bad eggs in the bunch, but this one stuck out like a sore thumb.  A sore thumb from texting or “Sexting” it seems. 

To summarize it seems William R. Yoder, an Amish man from Indiana was arrested for sending lewd pictures and text messages…

The Accused


…to a 12-year-old girl. 

It was this paragraph that sealed the decision to share this with you, my 4 readers;

“The suspect arrived, in a one-horse carriage as he said he would, was identified by the undercover officer confirming his identity and was taken into custody without incident,”

Full Article: http://www.cnn.com/2011/CRIME/06/21/indiana.amish.sexting.arrest/index.html?iref=NS1

Of course, the first thing that came to mind when I read the CNN article was the recent scandal involving US Representative Weiner, D-New York.  His scandal was not with an underage girl, thank God.  But he is a member of the House of Representatives, a newlywed, and a what?  Oh that’s right, soon to be father.  He was also caught with his pants down (literally there are pictures) sending inappropriate messages to several women.

A politician, yes.  I can wrap my head around that.

An Amish man.  No, I am having an issue with that. 

The obvious points.  The girl is twelve and that is disgusting and unacceptable.  Period.  But, I thought the Amish didn’t have electronics like cell phones?  I mean, he showed up to hook up with the young girl in a Horse Drawn carriage for the love of shiny buttons. 

Anyway, the article was disturbing and for some reason made me laugh.  Not in a “Oh, how funny” kind of way, but more in a “Well, I guess even the Amish can be douce bags” kind of way.  I am not sure if this is an appropriate response, but it is what it is.

I am so very glad the authorities stepped in before he could act on his unlawful, disgusting plan.  I am glad the parents of the girl found the phone and stopped it in its tracks.  But I still have some questions.

  1. 600 texts between Yoder and the girl.  Why, how, what… My mind blew a fuse on this one.  Why does she have a phone?  How did he get her number?  How did they meet?
  2. Is she Amish?
  3. Do all Amish have cell phones?
  4. What did the police do with his horse?
  5. Why do all the men have the bowl cut?
  6. Where is his beard?

Really there are too many to list. 

I truly hope this rash of sexting crimes will begin to slow down.  Each one I read about creeps me out more than the prior.

And remember if you see this on your phone,

“Hi Im CaLeB, wnt 2 C pics of mah HoRsE?”


As Always,