Gut Check – 2016 Edition

A friend of mine did a great year in review, and I had already been tossing around the notion of doing one myself.

So here it is.

2016 – A Year in Review

It has been one helluva year.  Amirite?  I could get into all the political things.  But we all know how that one played out.  We are currently in the prequel to “Idiocracy” the movie. If you haven’t seen it, check it out.  The resemblance is unsettling.

trump

Am I worried about an over-sized Cheeto, an egomaniac dipwad being our president?  Of course I am.  Honestly, I don’t think Hillary would do much better, but this will be something to watch that’s for sure.

*Gets Popcorn & Prays*

He has definitely cornered the meme game.

toupee

 

That’s enough of that.  Oh wait, we have 4 more years.

God save us all.

Outside of that, I watched a toddler transform overnight into a grown man.  My son.  I love him with all of my heart but he is knee deep in teenagerdom.  I am currently embarrassing, stupid, too loud, crazy, embarrassing, clingy, overbearing and did I mention embarrassing?  This was the year when he literally started to look like a grown up. It is an amazing thing to witness.  It also makes me cry a little.  But this is part of what I signed up for.

collage

It should be noted these pictures are two and a half years apart.  The top photos are Easter 2014.  It is now Christmas 2016.  He is 6′ tall with a size 13 shoe.  In the top picture I am taller.  I am 5’6″ In 2.5 years he has grown 6 inches.  Mostly in the last 6 months.

I knew it was coming.  I was told.  But nothing could prepare me to realize that I have a man at my breakfast table.  Eating lucky charms.

I am also celebrating my 6th year of marriage.  Next year is 7 years. I have never been in a relationship this long.  We have been though so much and while marriage is not easy, I know that I am married to my best friend.  Do we argue? Yes.  Often? No.  We have our differences and we go through life’s hurdles like everyone else?  Of course.  Being married is easy.  Staying married is hard.  It is sacrifice and compromise.  It is tolerance and forgiveness.  It is love with frustration and patience with gratitude. At the end of the day I wouldn’t want to go through this crazy journey with anyone else.


#TeamCason

So many wonderful things have happened this year.  My Stephen not only joined the Navy but also got engaged to his Love Nicolette.  I am so proud of the man he is becoming right before my eyes. He was 13 when I first met him and he has become such an amazing man.  I almost typed young man, but that isn’t the case anymore.

He is 20.

*Sigh.

Also, Jillian has proven to be a force to be reckoned with.  She is amazing. She works, she starts Art Clubs, and Drama Clubs, she has all AP Classes, she is applying to college, and she still works on her art portfolio while baking up the yummiest things.  She is kicking ass and taking names.  I couldn’t be prouder.

j

And last but not ever least, Brett.  Brett has thrived in Middle School and is going out for the Track team.  He has straight A’s this semester and is growing into a handsome young man. Seriously, he is one good lookin kid.

b

My life is chaotic.  I work part time, I am staring a business, which by the way I am SO FRIGGIN EXCITED about.  More on that to come.

I am a mom, I am a wife, I am many things all day long.  I try and keep everyone happy and sane.  That’s my job.  Being able to write and explore my passions makes things crazier, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

At the end of the day, at the end of 2016, I am grateful.  Stressed, but grateful.  Thankful to have a hand in these kids lives. Thankful to have the opportunity to make sure their needs are met.  Thankful to watch them grow and thrive.  While also exploring my new ventures.

I hope that 2016, while insane, found you in Peace.  I hope you are going forward and not reflecting backwards.  I hope that for all of you, you have what I have.

Love.

That’s what makes the world go round.

 

 

As Always & Until 2017,

 

Woman on Pause

 

 

 

Photo Credits (In Order):
http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/990/005/721.jpg.
http://15858-presscdn-0-65.pagely.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/1-donald-trump-meme-get-in-pussy-making-america-great-again1.jpg..

 

I was lost…

But now I am found.  I literally can’t even list here how many things have been going on that have delayed me from renewing my domain.

All the things.

But most importantly…

We bought a house!  And I got a part time job.

All kinds of goodies have been going on.  I will splain later.

Missed you all.

As Always,

Woman on Pause

Quid Pro NOPE

My sons are respectively almost 12 and almost 9.

We have dealt with a lot of things, mostly normal things with the boys.  Custody issues with ex’s, bad conduct, anger management, girl talk, you  name it, we have come across it and I know I felt all of it coming and it seemed totally natural.

Then yesterday happened.

Short story long, my almost 12 year old came home and immediately wanted to go outside with his friends.  But Mom doth protest.  You have a room to clean, homework to do.  He was so antsy with everything.  Rushing through all of it, and in turn jacking it all up.

I am hands on hips, wagging the finger, you have to do your work first.  You promised to do your room two days ago.  You have to master Mixed fraction division, even if your Math teacher Doesn’t check your homework.

Normal mom crap.

We keep moving along our afternoon getting ready to go to my almost 9 year old’s foot ball practice. I am trying to pre-make dinner, my husband is working on his truck, my youngest is reading, some kid comes to the door asking for my 12 year old.  I tell him he will probably be out in about a half hour.

Then, instead of go outside and play he decides he wants to come with me to football practice.

Ok.

Then as we are walking to the field, and my  youngest has ran to his team my oldest starts to cry.  Spilling that he was late from the bus because this kid wants to fight him.  He said that he defended a friend on the bus and the guy was all, well your mom is fat and ugly and “Has sex with girls.”  He is sobbing because he doesn’t want me or my husband, his stepdad, to freak out because he knows we don’t roll with disrespect.

I let him know it is quite different when our KIDS disrespect us, I am not worried about some punk ass 13 year old, and let him know I could care less what he says about me, and that the kid is clearly trying to get under his skin.

Then he cries and says because he didn’t show up for the fight, everyone is going to call him a chicken.  Oh and he cries and says you can’t snitch on me.  If the kids find out I am a snitch it gets 100 times worse.

Oh, and the kid at the door, is the one who wants to kick my kids ass.

Never seen him, assumed he was a friend from the neighborhood.

This kid has balls.

Came to the house. (Insert Indignation here)

“Excuse me maam, Lovely day we are having.  Could I bother you to have your son come out here so I can partake in fisticuffs with him today? Thanks so much, and enjoy your evening.”

Well great.  Then the moms at the ballpark who live in the neighborhood tell me this kid has hit broken limbs of other kids, rubbed gum in their hair, fights constantly, and spits random items onto girls. And his parents make excuses when confronted and aren’t concerned with what he is doing the three hours every day he is kicked out of his house to roam our neighborhood looking for his next victim.

So.  I can’t call the school, because if I do then I have proven the snitch theory.  I can’t protect him because he is in middle school, and that to him would be more devastating than if he got into the actual fight.  I offer to take him to school the next day.

“No.”  I have to do this.

So.  Here I am.  I know what happens next.  But I also know I probably didn’t do the most popular thing.

What would YOU do?

By the way, the entire time all this is happening I am freaking out internally.

MY BABY BOY IS NOT GOING TO FIGHT HE IS 3 YEARS OLD IN MY MIND AND I CAN’T HANDLE THIS.  Nope.  No.  NOOOOOO……….

 photo post-25055-NOPE-octopus-gif-t6sT_zps5a2a79d8.gif

 photo post-25055-NOPE-oprah-gif-AENs_zpsda832ee4.gif

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As Always,

Woman on Pause

Gif Credits:
http://pandawhale.com/post/25055/no-nope-disapproval-scream-gif

MEow.

I was reading the Daily News, which I do manically all day.  One of my 4 go to sites when I am on my phone and find time to browse.

I ran across this story about Vladamir Putin.

‘It’s a cat – from the rear’ – Russian President Putin

And it shows this picture Putin had drawn for a classroom of Middle School kids during a visit.

Putin on the Ritz

  • When I first looked at this before even reading the title or what it was about, I thought, what a crude drawing of a vagina.

 

  • Please o please tell me I am not the only one to see this.

 

  • If not, I may very well have to call a therapist, a voodoo priestess or whatever will help me not see the vagina.

 

  • Lord help me, I have been off my hormones now for 8 days and I think it is effecting my brain.

 

  • That is all for today, because really what else could possibly be said.

 

  • BTW, I named that picture, “Putin on the Ritz.”  And giggled for WAY longer than I should have.  Then found this.  And continued the giggles again for probably an inappropriate amount of time.

pr

As Always,
Woman on PausePhotoCredit:

Watch your ass. Er Boots. Whatever.

I put this as my facebook status tonight.  After today, I am so drained.

“Sometimes when life kicks you in the ass, you go to bed and say, ‘Tomorrow I wear the boots.'”

This was a Sarah Original statement.  I have honestly not been this upset about something in a while.

That being said, I hate to dwell.  Dwellers suck.

Tomorrow beach with my Bug.  This is my nickname for my only born child.  My 11 year old.  Just me and him.  Such a treasure.  We never get one on one time.

And in light of my downer Boooooooooooooo posts, I am here to bring the weird whatever nonsense of the internet.  Enjoy!

If you were born between 1975 and 1982 – 1977 REPRESENT!
http://www.buzzfeed.com/leonoraepstein/signs-youre-stuck-between-gen-x-and-millennials

The Bloggess.  Have you not been here?  Go here.  Quickly.  Oh and buy her book.  No, I don’t know her, but I found her book first and loved it.  Now I am a peon and proud of it!  http://thebloggess.com/   She is beyond awesome.

Um, stop.  Right the hell now.  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2369806/Backstreet-Boys-perform-hilltop-exciting-new-music-video.html

And I know, Paula Deen.  But then I saw this.  I swear as God as my witness I thought he was Gay.  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2369079/Paula-Deen-finds-reason-celebrate-son-Bobby-Deen-marries-Savannah.html   Really hard to tell with a GA/SC man.  I don’t know why, I think it is the accent.  God I love my Gays. Kinda saddened by this.

I know this is just a wrap up, but I missed connecting, blogging, writing, posting.  Taking tomorrow for my boy.  See you all on Saturday!!

I mean Caturday.

caturday

As Always,

Woman on Pause.

Pic Credit: http://i229.photobucket.com/albums/ee309/Fikvedne/caturday.jpg

Back in the Saddle, Hand Guns, and other Musings

So, I refused to go to the doctor.  I don’t “Hate” doctors per se but I am a mom and I know that if you aren’t running a fever and only have a mildly productive cough, no matter how sick of it you are, they aren’t going to do jack crap.

So I took my 11 year old to Basketball practice, loaded up on Motrin, and purchased some Mucinex.  Good as new.

Sort of, is it hot in here?  Nah, it is just 91 degrees outside.

So.  While we were at basketball practice (a half hour early because that is how I roll) the two boys were playing robbers and had their hands shaped as guns.

We were in front of the middle school gym, and school is out, but all of a sudden all the news articles about little kids pointing their fingers like guns and being hanged on the spot came to mind.  Ok, maybe not hanged, but they call the cops, or kick them out for a week, or something completely unnecessary.

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http://www.koco.com/image/view/-/18060628/medRes/1/-/u3objp/-/img-Local-boy-suspended-for-making-gun-gesture-with-hand.jpg  – I am linking this here because well it is relevant.

Speaking of relevance, as I was searching for an image of a kid making a gun with his hand, I swear this is what popped up.

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Now, this is not a post to start a gun debate.  I don’t like debating.  My view is mine, yours is yours.  Done.  See how easy that was?

But, I noticed on all of these articles, and the one’s I have seen recently, the majority of these kids are elementary or younger school children.

I am all for zero tolerance for a child of ANY age bringing a firearm to school or weapon of any sort.  They gots to go.  No problem.

But to suspend or to extremely punish a child for making a gun sign with his hand, come on now America.  Really?

I might understand if the kid was 12 and up.  I MIGHT kinda sorta if I reached really hard.  They understand the implications.

But a 7 year old?

And yet, what did I do when I saw my 8 year old and 11 year old do it?  I hushed yelled, DON’T EVER MAKE A GUN GESTURE ANYWHERE, ESPECIALLLLLYYYYYYYYYYY A SCHOOL.  I know you guys are playing, but this isn’t a point to debate.  JUST DON’T do it.

The entire rest of the day I am going to have this on my mind.

How do you teach a kid it isn’t ok to pretend, because some mental cases went in and shot kids at schools?  How do you tell them children died?  And the result is a banned hand gesture that was never ever ever meant in any way shape or form to connect with these events?

I can’t.  I don’t want to tell them about murdered children.  (Note:  I did have a talk with my 11 year old to a point, and to a pointttttttttt my 8 year old after Sandy Hook) but in no way can I relate it back to two fingers pointing with the thumb up.

Maybe I am wrong, but it just seems like a bit much.

As always,

Woman on Pause

Go Home Florida, you’re Drunk

Oh Florida.

My home state and Birthplace. I always feel Florida gets a bad rap (or is it wrap?  I dunno).  All the crime and insanity being reported seemed out of proportion maybe because I am from Florida so I just notice it more?  There must be the same amount of complete idiocy and general fuckery going on everywhere.

Right?

I am just not sure anymore.

I have stated before about my love affair with DailyMail.com.  It is a UK online publication but has a US page and frankly I am on there more than I am in my kitchen.

And I am in my kitchen a lot.  BTW, foods, all the foods, they are mine. 

So I got on my internet research hat,

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Yes my sleuth hat is a visor.  This is Florida Dammit.  It is hot.

And began to look around.  Trying to figure out if there is another state, preferably on the Eastern Seaboard that has comparable crime/population/insanity.

I did NOT know that Florida is the 4th largest populated state, behind New York, California and Texas.  OK, well that is the first problem.  We are a decently sized state with way too many damned people.

After going through Wikipedia it seems that Florida isn’t the WORST per capita, but the South itself IS the worst in the country.  It seems that D.C. is the worst of the worst.  I have never been there and have no opinion on that.

I wanted to know what makes it seem like Florida is growing more crazy than oranges.

By the way, this is what started this search.  (Amongst the 1,558,278 articles I see FL mentioned)

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So.  First off, their bucket list wish was to steal from a Walmart.  Ok, but was one dying??  Isn’t that what a Bucket list is?!?  And they were from Ocala.  This article, as stated above was from Dailymail.co/uk

A quote from this article, “The items? Beef jerky and a bathing suit.”

How does one wrap their head around this one?

…………………….

I sat there for a while, and this was all I had…

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Sigh.Really though, I read a lot of news, watch some.  And it always seems like the oddest, and frankly sometimes the sickest news comes out of Florida.  And the comments are always, “Oh they are from Florida, it all makes sense.”  I don’t know why that bothers me.  It is like someone talking bad about your brother.  You can talk shit all day long but anyone else, they are just an ass.

I love my state.  It is pretty friggin awesome if you give it a chance.  I mean we are a peninsula for the love of Oprah.  There are beaches everywhere.

And frankly everyone should avoid the Wal-mart anyway so if you just steer clear you should be fine.

So, no meat bathing suits, no Wal-mart, and just go to the damned beach.  I was there yesterday and it was awesome.  Sand in the crack of my everything and all.

Good times.

Oh and Florida, shape up.  Your crazy is starting to show.
As Always,

Woman on Pause

Holy Shit, I quit my job.

So.  The big news.

I quit.

I QUIT.

Well, I put in my three week notice, but you get the point.

I know what you are thinking, big friggin deal?  You start a new job and life goes on.  Blah, Blah Blah.

Nope.  I am not starting a new job.  I have no job waiting.  I am quitting work, and for the summer spending the time with my two boys and being a housewife.  Then I am going to maybe have hip surgery (again), then I am going back to school.  All the while blogging and writing like a frantic monkey on meth. Have.never.had.this.much.time.to.write.

The thing that makes me happy and feel personally fulfilled. <——-The Meth Monkey thing.

This is big because if you knew me, you would know I have NEVER NOT worked.  Ever.  I began work at age 12.  Working for my Grandfather behind the counter of his store.  Then at 16 I interned at an office locally and waited tables.  At 17, the damned Monday after graduation, I started my first 9-5.  Then from there it was basically a new job every 3-6 years.  Each one moving up the ladder.  Leading me to Accounting then Finance.

Then 2008 happened.  I took a major hit going from a Manager at a very nice salary, to a peon with a crappy hourly salary with a two hour commute.  I have done this now for three years.

After the hubs and I crunched the numbers it just didn’t make sense to send the boys to day camp (PRICEY Motherfucker Day camps are) while I spend tons in gas and wear and tear to Prince Valium to make jack shit.

So we decided I would quit.

HOLY HELL.

This is why I restarted this blog a week or two back.

I am going to be documenting going from a 9-5 day job for 19 years. to being a Stay at Home Mom.

Heyyyyyyyyy, wait.  Don’t be that way.  This won’t be a mommy blog.  I mean those are great and all, and I have learned many crafts and recipes, but this is going to document the journey.

My Journey.

And I am damned excited/scared/freaked out/stoked/completely unprepared.

This shit should be interesting.

Stay tuned.

It just gets better from here.

Or I go down in flames.

Either way, it makes for good reading.  Don’tchathink??

Holy shit no pictures.

As always,and stay tuned.

Woman on Pause

One Day to go. AAAAAAAAAAAAACk.

I am sure my vast array of tens of readers are getting tired of the build up.

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Ho damned hum…………..

I swear there is a reason for it.  I have to keep this info confidential until it goes down. Which will be around 8:30 – 9:00am tomorrow EST.

I’m coming out.  Not like that, but it will make more sense soon.  Try to get that song out of your head now.  PDiddy or Dianna Ross version choose your poison.

D-Ross doing it OG style
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-mjl63e0ms

This one is for us who appreciate a good sampling

Puff and Biggie http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZ4tNmnuMgQ

Back story alert.

My name is Sarah. *HI!!!!!! Waves wildly*

I have a husband, which I refer to fondly as “Hubs.”  We have been married for three years.  We re-connected as childhood sweethearts thanks to the almighty FB.  I have two kids, and two step kids who live three hours away.  I have been in Finance for twelve years and working in an office environment for the last eighteen years.  I started work the Monday after graduation.  I have my AA in Accounting and am working on my Bachelors.

This info is relevant.

But understandably boring.  SO.  After tomorrow’s announcement this will make a bit more sense.  Until then, let’s comb the internet for some interesting nuggets.  Shall we?

Current Events time kids!
Criss Cross Applesauce and let’s see what’s happening around the world. 

A fluff piece to start.
What in the hell is going on with Amanda Bynes?  I wasn’t young enough to enjoy her stint on Nickelodeon, but have seen and enjoyed her in several movies.  It seems she has lost her mind and the media is feeding on it like a lemur with a broken leg.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2316402/Amanda-Bynes-shares-bizarre-photographs-new-half-shaven-hair-style.html

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Summary:  This girl is either going all Joaquin Phoenix, or she needs an intervention STAT.  Not necessarily the drug kind but shit is going wrong fast.  I can speak for her what she can’t.  “Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllp”

Arrested Development.  Soak it in.  Soak.it.in.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/whitneyjefferson/glorious-photos-of-the-arrested-development-premiere-and-par

This. All.day.long

This. All.day.long

VAGINA. Because this is news.
http://kotaku.com/woman-gets-upset-after-starbucks-writes-vagina-instea-485568240

 Gina to my friends.

In the “Are you Fucking kidding me” file:  Segregation meets GA 2013. SMH
http://www.cnn.com/2013/04/30/living/wilcox-integrated-prom/index.html?hpt=hp_t1

I am from and live in the south.  It may be FL but I spent six years working in GA and I can not believe that
A. This is JUST.NOW.HAPPENING
B. HOW is this just now happening????

I am not ashamed that I am from the South, but the link above gives me a sad.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s big news.  Well< it is big for me.  Not Biggie Smalls big, just big.

As Always,

Woman on Pause

WTF is all this mess?

I may do this from time to time.  Just let everyone know that I see way too much shit in my daily travels.  I have seen some things today that I must share.

Join me will you? I can’t say it will be pretty.

Example #1

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Yeah, I left my Songza username on there. Follow me. My taste in music is eclectic and friggin awesome. You’re welcome.

There are several things wrong with this picture.  First and foremost, what the hell is with that shoe that Nordstrom’s is trying to sell.  My first thought as I was trying to, “Like” Ghetto Superstar on Songza, is I was unaware Goodwill advertised Dirty ASS shoes online.  I swear to God that was what I thought.

Then I clicked and was transported to the land of shoe fuckery.

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$275.00  Totally worth it.  Totes.

These shoes are $275.00  I could buy approximately 102.230 boxes of Mr. Clean Dry erasers to clean this exact shoe.  And any other stubborn household stains. And save the ridicule that comes with wearing this shoe.

Yes, I know it is a man’s shoe, but let’s not get all tangled in the details.

Here’s the link.  In case you all think I got crazy with the photoshops.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/allen-edmonds-banchory-longwing/3404840?origin=category&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=Grey+Leather&resultback=4320

That was the first thing.  Did anyone also notice in the first screen grab the kinda sketch of Zach Galifianakis wearing a man bag, to sell a non man bag in the right bottom corner?  We will have to address that another day.

Example #II

And then there was this.
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My hubs brought these home the other day, and they looked all fancy and “Baked fresh to GO!”  Um no.

These fake wanna be Twinkies are posers.  They kinda taste like them.  But then again they really just damned well don’t.

Oh and Sara Lee please stop trying to convince me that these things would last no later than the stamped on date.  I.Am.Not.Buying.It.

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May 21 2013 huh?  Yeah I don’t think so.  May 21 2031 perhaps.

My final say, don’t bother.  I am sure they were more than twinkies, and obviously if you don’t get them fast they will go bad in a week.  These are not things I am looking for in my snack cake.

There were many other anomalies that I came across today, but I stopped half way through this blog to make the hubs a sandwhich before night shift, played Candy Crush and now I am sleepy.

Any one else see some messed up nonsense lately?

And no, the news doesn’t count.  It is a friggin nightmare in that arena.

As always,

Woman on Pause.

 

 

Photo Credit

Shoes, I linked above.
Nasty ass snack cakes, My own pics.