Tardy – Friday Fictioneers

Good day everyone!  This is my submission for this week’s Friday Fictioneers.  Brought to you by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.  The idea is to write a 100 word flash fiction post on the picture of the week.  Below is mine, I hope everyone enjoys!

 

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Tardy

Phillip arrived at the restaurant thirty minutes early. He had already broken a stress sweat wondering if there would be parking. Predicting that traffic would hold him up and he would leave her waiting at the table.  He hated feeling like he was going to be stood up and didn’t want her to feel that way either.

Mind numbing forethought had now dwindled down to a swirl of a few thoughts. That maybe this time he would be the one left waiting alone. He looked up and there she was.

The small worries lifting as he saw she brought the divorce papers after all.

104 Words

 

As Always,

Woman on Pause

 

InLinkz Link – View this and other stories for this weeks submission!

Photo Credit:
http://mariegailstratford.wordpress.com/

 

32 thoughts on “Tardy – Friday Fictioneers

  1. The interesting twist makes this a bit of a sad story! I suppose at least they both showed up on time when it counts??

  2. Good job with an unexpected ending. I, too, am an early-to-arrive person but think that’s better than perennially late. 🙂

    A couple of thoughts that seem, at least to me, as if they would make your story flow more smoothly:

    “… wondering if there would be parking. Predicting that traffic ..” Instead of a period, used a comma to join the first sentence and the fragment.

    “That maybe this time…” Leave out “That”, which turns the sentence into a complete one and doesn’t leave the reader hanging.

    “The small worries lifting as he saw…” Change “lifting” to “lifted”, which accomplishes the same thing as the previous suggestion. Incomplete sentences can be useful but I found myself stumbling at those places in your story. What do you think?

    janet

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