Friday Fictioneers – University Daze

Hello everyone!  Welcome to my submission for this week’s Friday Fictioneers.  Brought to you by,

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple

The purpose of this exercise is to write a fiction story 100 words based off of a photo prompt.

Image
Photo Prompt – Copyright –Jennifer Pendergast

InLinkz link HERE

 

University Daze

As she walked the grand courtyard of the University she smiled, imagining days of books and classes. She dreamed of evenings giggling with girlfriends. The ability to study along side the brightest of minds. She could almost feel midnight kisses from beaus left sweetly on her cheek.

She entered the hall and as she picked up her mop the handle brushed her growing belly. She caressed her womb and sweetly whispered, “All can be yours sweet girl.”

 

78 words

I hope everyone enjoyed my submission and kind but helpful criticism is always welcome.

 

As Always,

 

Woman on Pause

 

60 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – University Daze

  1. Nice feel to this piece. Felt a bit short, 22 words is a lot to go unused. I’d always max out on these challenges – get as much description etc as poss. Good work.

    • It is funny you mention that. I showed my son this and he said, but you have over 20 words left. And so I stared at it. I changed things, I added things. But they felt like just that. Stuff I added. Normally I like going 100 myself, but this one spoke to me as less. Funny how that happens. Thank you so much for reading and commenting!!

  2. Good story, really. So, you went under 100 words … big deal. Sometimes that’s about all you can do when a story demands certain things. It worked out just fine.

    Nice work this week!

    • Thanks so much! I love those exercises where you have to tell a story in a sentence or two. Something about conveying the story in as few words as possible intrigues me. Thank you so much for reading and commenting!!

  3. Very very clever – I glanced at the word count before I read it, and wondered why you hadn’t used your full quota, but you’ve got a perfectly contained story in your 78 words. Love it!

    • A lot of people have mentioned the word count. I liked it simple and short. I did try and add once I realized it was so short. But it just seemed like that, that I just “added.”
      Thank you so much for reading!!

  4. I love the love your character pours into this. I’m swaying between thinking she’s a graduate who wants the same (and better success with it) for her daughter, and thinking she wants what she never had for her. I think I am coming down on the latter, but either works well.
    Two tiny concrits – I think “alongside” is one word. And, I’d have loved for you to flesh this out and use up the rest of the 100.

    • Thanks so much! I think you are correct about alongside. That saves me a word. 😉 I did try and go to 100 but it never seemed as strong with the extra words. Which is something I never see. It was an odd thing. Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I love all opinions!! (Well not all but the good one’s.) 😉

  5. I was thinking that my story which is an even darker take on the picture would never have a positive outcome, but now I’ll latch on to yours as my heroine’s future. Still dark but a step up. Thanks for brightening my outlook! (Yes, I’m going through a tough week) 🙂

    Greetings from Greece!
    Maria (MM Jaye)

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