Hello everyone! Welcome to my submission for this week’s Friday Fictioneers. Brought to you by,
Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple
The purpose of this exercise is to write a fiction story 100 words based off of a photo prompt.
Photo Prompt – Copyright –Jennifer Pendergast
InLinkz link HERE
University Daze
As she walked the grand courtyard of the University she smiled, imagining days of books and classes. She dreamed of evenings giggling with girlfriends. The ability to study along side the brightest of minds. She could almost feel midnight kisses from beaus left sweetly on her cheek.
She entered the hall and as she picked up her mop the handle brushed her growing belly. She caressed her womb and sweetly whispered, “All can be yours sweet girl.”
78 words
I hope everyone enjoyed my submission and kind but helpful criticism is always welcome.
As Always,
Woman on Pause
Well, I thought this was immensely sad, or potentially a tale of a witch plotting, with a broom, and both delighted me!
I was hoping for sad with a side of hopeful. 🙂 But I really like the witch angle. Thank you!
a mother’s hope and dreams for her child. things that she never had… that was a bit sad but lovely and hopeful.
To me that is a mothers job! Thank you so much for reading and leaving the lovely comment.
Nice feel to this piece. Felt a bit short, 22 words is a lot to go unused. I’d always max out on these challenges – get as much description etc as poss. Good work.
It is funny you mention that. I showed my son this and he said, but you have over 20 words left. And so I stared at it. I changed things, I added things. But they felt like just that. Stuff I added. Normally I like going 100 myself, but this one spoke to me as less. Funny how that happens. Thank you so much for reading and commenting!!
Good story, really. So, you went under 100 words … big deal. Sometimes that’s about all you can do when a story demands certain things. It worked out just fine.
Nice work this week!
Thanks so much! I love those exercises where you have to tell a story in a sentence or two. Something about conveying the story in as few words as possible intrigues me. Thank you so much for reading and commenting!!
Aww, this is such a sweet story!! Nice work 🙂
Thank you so much!!
Very nice and surprising story. I hope the dreams of both mother and daughter come true.
Thank you so much!! (And I hope so too) 🙂
Such a sweet story!
Thanks! Normally I am horror and suspense. But the feel of the picture said hope but maybe regret too.
great twist at the end! nothing beats a mother’s love:)
Thanks so much!!
We always want our unfulfilled dreams to see reality in our children.
That to me is being a mom. Wanting more for them than you had for yourself. Thank you so much for commenting!
After re-reading this I realized the woman hadn’t actually gone to the school, just imagined what it would be like. Well done.
Thanks so much. Wishes for the unborn child. 🙂
A mother’s dream for her young one. How special.
Thank you so much!!
Very very clever – I glanced at the word count before I read it, and wondered why you hadn’t used your full quota, but you’ve got a perfectly contained story in your 78 words. Love it!
A lot of people have mentioned the word count. I liked it simple and short. I did try and add once I realized it was so short. But it just seemed like that, that I just “added.”
Thank you so much for reading!!
Lovely story of a mother who is sacrificing for her child so that the child can have things she couldn’t. A hope for the future. Very well written. 🙂 —Susan
Thank you. I love the hope she feels for her unborn. I think we all feel that way. 🙂
A sweet poignancy to this tale.
Subtly told.
Thank you so much. I tried to keep it completely simple.
And you did so beautifully.
That is a wonderful compliment. Thank you.
Sad regret, yet she passes on her hopes and dreams.
Thanks so much for reading!!
I love the love your character pours into this. I’m swaying between thinking she’s a graduate who wants the same (and better success with it) for her daughter, and thinking she wants what she never had for her. I think I am coming down on the latter, but either works well.
Two tiny concrits – I think “alongside” is one word. And, I’d have loved for you to flesh this out and use up the rest of the 100.
Thanks so much! I think you are correct about alongside. That saves me a word. 😉 I did try and go to 100 but it never seemed as strong with the extra words. Which is something I never see. It was an odd thing. Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I love all opinions!! (Well not all but the good one’s.) 😉
I was thinking that my story which is an even darker take on the picture would never have a positive outcome, but now I’ll latch on to yours as my heroine’s future. Still dark but a step up. Thanks for brightening my outlook! (Yes, I’m going through a tough week) 🙂
Greetings from Greece!
Maria (MM Jaye)
Normally my stories are really dark. But for some reason I thought hope when I saw the picture. Maybe we all just needed a glimmer of hope this week. 🙂
I think the length was perfect for the piece. You conveyed the message beautifully. No need to ramble on.
Thank you. Truly.
Nicely scribed.
I appreciate that. 🙂
Enjoyed your perspective of the picture. 🙂
Thank you so much! I can’t believe I never saw your comment. Thank you for reading and stopping by.
Some things sneak by us… glad you finally saw it.
I don’t know how I missed it!
Ah those beaus might leave you with a broom and a mop to support his gift to you.. Maybe my imagination wandered.. Well told story of surprise.
Dear Woman,
Brevity is the soul of wit. Lovely story, surprising twist and all in only 78 words. Well done.
shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you so much for your feedback. I truly appreciate it.
You said all you wanted to say and got your message across. Loved it.
Well done
Dee
I thought so too. 😉 Thank you so much!!
So bittersweet. Excellent and unique take on the prompt. Lucy
Thank you for your kind words!
It’s a very beautiful and heart warming picture you portray through your words. A mother’s love, her hopes and wishes. I enjoyed reading.
Thank you so much. Your feedback is always welcome!!
A nicely written and softly softly piece of fiction. Only thing I would pick up on would be to add a comma after “she dreamed of evenings” and along side is a single word.
You are absolutely right! This is why I love this exercise!
Very nicely done. A story of dreams and hope for a better future.
Thank you so much for commenting and reading!!
She dreams of college life, but what her girl dreams will be? Endless possibilities!
That is what I hope for both of them!!
Agreed!! 🙂