I have creeping doubts about my writing. (NO, this is in no way a ploy to get compliments. Not linking, etc. Just getting the doubt demons out of my head.) I have doubts because first off, that is how I am built. I may just be having an off day. I get like this when I am determined to finish. My doubts step right in my way, hold up a stop sign and wave a finger in a very slow “No” gesture.
So to battle this…
I have decided to attempt NaNoWriMo to try something different. A lot of people think it is a junky way to write, but I find it an interesting challenge. And I am hoping it will give me a good nudge to just write, write, write. Not go back, not edit, not second guess, not beat my story to death before I even finish. (Day one 800 words. Not to goal, but a start)
I have had this opportunity to leave my job and pursue my dreams, goals, etc. I feel like I haven’t lived up to that opportunity. I am also trying Realllllllly hard to break through the barrier of doubt and keep trucking.
Do I think I will write professionally?
But I enjoy it, and if I can get stuff out there and maybe get good at it, in a few years who knows.
Professionally I am a bit lost, but I am also at a standstill. I can’t go back to school until after my surgery in January. So technically this is “free time” until then. I feel like if I waste this time I will always regret it. I will not always be a stay at home mom, more than likely before 2014 is over I will again be gainfully employed. This was a chance for me to hang with my kids, decompress after 17 years of desk/admin/finance/acctg. work.
And frankly, just typing what I did, helped tremendously. Hence why I have this blog. No one may even read it, but this is the first step to flipping off those annoying doubts that seem to always step into my path.
Thanks for the ear er, the eyes, you know what I mean,
Woman on pause