I told myself I wouldn’t think these thoughts. I definitely never thought I would be writing them down and putting it out there for you and the world to read. I said, “I am strong, I don’t need this. I can rebuild my life the way it was before you came into it.”
But I can’t.
I sit here on a Sunday night thinking of what could have been. I am very aware that we made the right decision. No one wants to drag out something that is over. I get that.
But I miss you.
I keep thinking of the good times, and yes dammit I am thinking of the hard times too. We had both. Ups and downs, laughs, cries, I didn’t realize how much I needed you until you were gone.
Now with this Government shutdown thing I feel like it is a stark reminder of how you aren’t here.
We shut down.
I guess it really doesn’t matter now. It is over.
I know that. I just wanted YOU to know, that I appreciate the time we had and I am glad we had it.
At the end of the day, I guess I just don’t know how to say Good Bye.
Damn you Vince Gilligan. Can’t we… I mean is there any way…
No. I know, there isn’t any way.
Dammit Jesse don’t look at me that way.
I will remember you at your happiest…
And Walt, oh dear Walt… I don’t even have the words.
I am arranging my bacon into a sad face this Sunday. 😦 Wearing my purple pajamas wandering around, trying to avoid AMC, because Low Winter Sun is just your sloppy seconds and we all know it. I can’t think of another show right now. It is just too painful.
I am just going to chose to believe that you are doing well. That you all are.
I see I am not alone…
One day, a long long time from now, I might start another show. But it won’t be the same. It will never be the same. You have ruined me for all other TV shows. I hope your happy, TV WRECKER!
Sorry, I am just upset. Until then, I will stalk you on the internet until I feel gross about myself.
I will move on.
Woman on Pause.