Go Funk Yourself

SAH Log Day 28
(Stay at Home)

I have been in a funk.  For a few reasons.  None more prevalent than the fact I am in pain.  If you are new to this revelation, let me give you a summary.

  • Car Wreck 2007 – Wrecked my Hip
  • Exploratory surgery 2009, removed mass, put in anchor, 2 tears in this area.

ans7_labrum

  • Another surgery 2011 when the first one didn’t make a damned bit of difference.
  • Current – 8 cm of my squish shock bearing labrum is gone.  Bone on bone.
  • Have to get another surgery to inject cartilage.  When ever I have a chance to get a home nurse because no one else can help with eight weeks no weight bearing. – yeah because that shit is going to happen, at the end of NEVER.
  • If the above doesn’t work, hip replacement.

I take nothing but motrin for this.  Nothing else.  I was on pain medication prior to my last surgery.  Decided I couldn’t keep taking it, because what is the point.  So been 2 years since any pain medication intervention.   So I hurt a lot.  And I limp.

Funk Reason #2 I have had a bit of a hard time assimilating to this new role I have.

While I should be just all giddy and thrilled I am not working and spending time with the boys, I wasn’t aware that I was going to become a Kid Bitch.

It isn’t pretty, but it is true.  But not their fault.  Mine.

I had these awesome, pinterest pinned ideas about how we would spend this summer.  As an unknown, I just assumed.

You know what happens when you assume.

I have been a kid runner.  I had so many things I wanted to do, so many things I wanted to accomplish, and I feel I have done none of these, nor lived up to my vision or what I assume others vision of what I would be doing.

Football, Baseball, Basketball camp, sleepovers, Nana’s, beach, pool, kids wanting to visit friends, mandatory family outings, grocery store, laundry, Three meals a day, house cleaning, running, running, running.

Something, lots of things.  Every.damned.day. I know none of this sounds bad, but this is ALL I HAVE DONE.

I finally took an hour to get a pedicure last Thursday.  In the first 10 minutes I get a call.

“I need my bat bag.  It is in your car.”

The rest doesn’t matter.  I couldn’t even get 10 minutes. Not 10 minutes in 20 solid days.

Needless to say, it all started to get to me.

Then I spoke to my hubs.  Who is not perfect, but by far my saving grace and biggest cheer leader.  The one.

He reminded me *I* am important too.
I owe no one.
I can’t do it all.
I am a good mom.
I am a good wife.
I am CEO of this house and I need to run it to benefit me too.
He is only worried about my happiness.

And I felt better.

All of my other woes will be sorted out one way or the other.  But I finally had a paradigm shift.

I Can’t Do It All.

And that is ok.

Sometimes life just isn’t perfect.  But what is?

As always,

Woman on Pause.

PS.  Sorry for the rant, but this was one of the exact reasons I started to blog again.  A diary of sorts.  A timeline of recovery and discovery.

Photo Credit. http://www.mayoclinic.com/images/image_popup/ans7_labrum.jpg

6 thoughts on “Go Funk Yourself

  1. Do you have a special matress to help with your hip pain? When I had a hip injury in 2008, I had the HARDEST time falling or staying asleep because of the pain. My husband bought me a memory foam mattress topper and it helped SO much!!! Highly recommend them for hip pain! 🙂

      • You’re welcome! I have slept like a dream ever since! Btw, my husband has had 7 major hip operations in his life. He is now on his second total hip. He is quite the trooper! I am lucky to have only been injured, and pretty much recovered. 🙂

      • Well, there were a LOT of years that were very hard for him because of it; he was on SS Disability at that time. He has been slowly building strength in the muscles of the affected leg, but he will never be able to stretch or move the way he used to. He has accepted this, but I know it must have been hard initially. 😦

      • I think it is always hard. I know for me, to know I CAN’T do the things I want to do, and know that I am and will be in pain, has been a hard pill to swallow. (Along with about 4 billion milligrams in Motrin) 😉

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