Martha and Me


It’s a good thing…

I woke up this morning wanting to make a wonderful meal for my family.  Maybe do some baking.  I busted out this new find, the Martha Stewart Cookbook, Collected Recipes for Every Day.

I picked and executed the following menu:

Limestone Lettuce with Beet Dressing
Herbed-Roasted Chicken with Baked Shallots
Turnip and Pear Puree
Apple Raspberry Crumble

I then decided instead of the Limestone lettuce I would make the Phyllo Triangles with Lobster Filling.  Seemed like a fresh but interesting starter.

You should see the pictures.

That do not exist.

That woman has lost her ever loving, basket weaving, flower arranging, craft making damned mind.

Cooking for EVERY DAY?  Every day you say. I would rather roll in burned hay, all damned day.

Seriously the Appetizer Phyllo Triangles had the following ingredients:
Steamed lobster
Wine or Vodka
Heavy Cream

Then the phyllo dough recipe.  I am not even going to GO there.

The Truth.

My blood pressure was a bit higher than I would like tonight and my cough has returned.  So I re-heated two day old lasagna for the boys.  That WAS homemade but I got the recipe off of the back of the no bake Barilla lasagna noodle box.  It is actually pretty damned good.  I recommend it.

I had an Oikos Greek Yogurt, and that fickle bastard John Stamos didn’t show up.  I am writing the company tomorrow. I had chores for him to do.

John Stamos

I really did bust open the cookbook this morning.  I wanted to bake some cookies or something today.  But after reading through for thirty minutes I realized there was no way in hell.  Even her recipe for basic french fries had a 20 ingredient list and about 400 word instructions.

Come on Martha.  I could have excused it all, but you put on the cover,

for Every Day.

Tomorrow is another day!  Not that I will be trying one of her recipes again.  I have pinterest to make me feel inferior, I don’t need her cook book too.  Next book to explore:


“This is Fucking Awesome” – Mackelmore

As always,

Woman on Pause

Stamos Photo Credit:

4 thoughts on “Martha and Me

  1. You sound like me. Cooking sounds better than the reality. But I do like to eat, so occasionally I do cook (under duress). I swear if I won a huge lottery, I would hire a cook before I did another single thing

    • And I hate it when I get too ambitious and start a meal and half way through think, “I have bit off WAY more than I can chew with this one.” And regretting ever starting. I think that is why I am so finiky about the recipes I try. They have to seem tasty without a ton of fuss…

      If I won the lottery I would hire a professional duster. I hate dusting. The rest I might be able to handle.

      Maybe 😉

  2. Take a look at Laurie Colwin’s cookbooks, “Home Cooking” and “More Home cooking.” They are more essays but have good recipes, written from the perspective of a working mother, that are pretty simple. you can find them at the library.

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