You need to go to “Life” school. Updated with real life example!

*Update! – Seems my post was spot on.  2 points for reclining in an airline seat and making the person in front of you uncomfortable.  -2 for smacking them over it.  😉  See below article…

I do a lot of driving. 

I travel 84 miles per day for work.  While I do find this time quiet and a way for me to gather myself before my day starts or before I get home to the kids, it is still one helluva drive.

I used to get on average one to two tickets per year.  I mean when you drive 22K miles per year, it is really just about the law of averages.  But lately, I have had no problem keeping my lead foot tucked neatly under my thigh and let cruise control take over the wheel and get me safely back home.

(Knock on Wood x 1,458,112) – Tickets suck.

Which brings me to my point.  If a person gets a ticket they get points on their license.  If you get too many points you need to A) Go to driving school and get them reduced or B) eventually lose your license.  Too many points in a year and poof, no license.  This is when you find people on the riding lawn mower trying to get a loaf of bread from the convenience store.

Who wants that?

I think though, that there should be a similar system for life.  If you break certain rules you get points on your LL, or your “Life License.”  Too many points and you lose your license and you die.

Just kidding, you get it revoked and are forced to go to “Life School.”

For example the following offences would be worth the corresponding points:

1 – Not holding the door for the person entering right behind you.      
2 – Not washing your hands after using the toilet. (Yes blue pumps on the first floor, I am looking at you.)
.5 – Stealing a pen or writing device.
4 – Cutting someone off in traffic.
.5 – Not changing the roll of toilet paper once it is empty
2 – Talking obnoxiously on your cell phone in an indoor public place.
2.5 – If using bluetooth to commit above offense
1.5 – Giving backwards compliments
.5 – Make-up line on the jaw
1 – Messing up someone’s order.  (This can be for any instance where a thing is ordered and it isn’t delivered as requested.)
3 – Driving without your lights on at night. (I get this falls back around the traffic points, but I saw this last night, and if the police didn’t get him, his LL should be dinged.)
1 – Serving fast food or frozen food to your family more than one night in a row.(Due to laziness not broke-ness)
1 – Walking over flowers.
.25 – Not saying please or thank you.
2 – Throwing someone under the bus for personal gain. (Not literally)
1 – Tattling or needlessly starting shit.  Wait, make that a 2.
1.5 – Muffin Top (Male or Female)
5 – Lying to get someone into bed.

You guys get the idea. If you hit 12 points in a year, you get your LL revoked.  This means going to go to a two day class that reminds you how to act like you are a decent human being.  AND that others are ALSO decent human beings and should be treated as such.

If you don’t attend this mandatory class to get your LL back, you will be forced to babysit Kate from John and Kate + 8 or Work at State Mandated Liquor Store, or something even less desirable until you get your license back.

Try and imagine a world where people were always decent to others.  What a world that would be…

Ah, but alas, I am afraid we are stuck with the rude, crude, and inconsiderate. 

Good thing there are so many of us awesome people out there to balance it all out.  I’m just sayin. 

As always,


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