I Have Trashy Hair

The past five nights I have not slept well. There are many reasons. I can sum it all up by explaining that I have horrible hot flashes again that wake me up drenched in sweat. It feels as if someone has taken a wool blanket, dunked it in hot water, then wrapped me in it while I slept. Not a cozy feeling.

Once awake I have morphed into my actual sleeping position, not the position I “go to sleep” in. There is a difference. I try and get back to “Go to sleep” mode lift my left leg to put a death grip on my body pillow and then there is the pain. Because sleepy Sarah forgets her hip is all discombobulated and then we have reached mock five ickiness. I am awake. I am pissed.

This goes on around 3am, 4am, and then again around 5am. Then about 5:30am, defeated and more tired than before, I get up.

That is all fine and dandy. But today, day five of lack of sleep, or at least a lack of good sleep I realized just a moment ago how this can effect a person.

For starters, I look like shit. I really do. My skin looks like my light tan Coach tote. It isn’t pretty. Even my hair looks tired.

I yawn constantly. And not the small feminine one’s either. The mouth completely unhinged, head back, sucking up all the air in the room type of yawn. And my brain is wrapped in a foggy blanket of stupidity and I am pretty sure I am on a thinking delay of about forty five seconds. But still, these are normal things.

But then I went to the bathroom.

I will skip over the obvious parts. I emerge from the lavatory to wash my hands. I do just this. I throw my paper towel into the receptacle in the wall made just for this service. I am less than a foot away from the trash can. I miss.

Ok, no worries. I can handle this. I bend down to grab the piece of wet towel to properly dispose. As I rise back up I realize my hair (half way down my back to give you an idea of length) is now fully immersed into said receptacle. Ew.

So, I convince myself my hair mingling with wet towels is OK because they are clean wet towels. I hope.

I go back to trying to tie my hair back into a low sling ponytail because clearly it is a hazard. I make a very nice far right part in my hair and get the job done. Except one lock of hair that didn’t want to go all the way along with the rest and now looks as if I have a guitar strap on the back of my head.


I somehow think that I can just yank it out and tuck it back in. The rest is too in place to start over. I yank, more hair falls. I now have semi wet garbage hair half out of a pony tail and half in. I then resorted to just staring at my leather faced, teased hair, mess of self. Then someone walks in. What a sight I must have been. I have a feeling I may be selected next for the “Random Drug Test.”

I finally make it out of the bathroom and return to my desk. It is time for my sinus medication. I have without recollection already put a mini altoid in my mouth. So now, I have to maneuver taking the mint out, putting the pill in, swallowing some water and putting the mint back in. I took the mint out, put the pill in, forgot what I was doing and began to suck on the pill while the altoid starts to melt in my hand. Realizing this I take the pill out, put the mint in and wash it down with my water. I now have a red messy wet pill melting in my hand and I am completely confused.

I take the pill, put it in my mouth with fierce determination, take a pull off my water and proceed to spill it all over myself.

I give up… Only five more hours until I can go home and not sleep there. Yay.

As always sleepy,

Woman on Pause

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