Thank you Jacksonville

I thank Jacksonville, FL because well, the crime stories that leap at me each morning when I read the news are well… Concerning.

Here is the story first. Feel free to read, then get back here.

I can wait.

No really, I have nowhere to go.

*Sings Jeopardy theme song…*
*Picks Nails…..*

Ok, back? Good.

I first heard this story on NPR on my way to work. Very late. Like stupid, this isn’t even late, it is rude, kind of late. But whatever.

And I was a bit startled by the fact that they kept bringing up the dog being killed. It is sad. It truly truly is. I am not mocking this in any way. I just lost a pet and come to find out I am a sucker for such things. So much so, the next time I have a pet, I am buying them Birthday cards. I am that pet friendly.

That being said. The guy died too. NOW before you all are all, “Well, he was committing a Criiiiiiimeeeee and he Raaaaaaaannnn and he shot the Daaaaaaawg.” I get that. And you nor I know exactly what went down in those woods.

But, no officer died.  (Thank God by the way.  Also very PRO Law Enforcement.  Fo Shiz)

And, the dude did.  So. 

Wait let’s go back.

Who robs a Family Dollar? 

Dude, things are a dollar there.  If you are going to go to the trouble of actually putting on the mask, making a plan with your buddy, getting the gun, etc, why not rob a place where individual items are over $5.00.  They may carry more cash.

I swear I am not trying to speak ill will of the deceased.  But none of this damned story makes any sense.

None.  Nada.  Zip.

But I love Grandma’s tag line at the end about how she is sorry they lost a dog, but they lost their grandson.

My first thought, I will be honest…

“The dog didn’t rob anyone with a gun, then run, then fire at police OR the Police Dog.”

Truth.  It’s what’s for dinner. 

I have decided to start an entirely new category.

“Criminally Funny”

While this one isn’t Funny per se, since someone died, and that is a tragedy regardless of the reason.  But if you take that part out, it is just well, wow. 

Thanks Jacksonville, your crime rate should get ratings.

As Always,
Woman on Pause

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