Sorry for the ellipses, technically this is just a list of 10 things I hate; in no particular order.
- The term, “Bestie.” This term along with BFF is perfectly acceptable. If you are twelve. This is not a term that should be used by grown women. And in my limited experience of hearing women over thirty use this term it is to refer to someone as said, “Bestie” to show that you aren’t the coveted “Bestie”. We are friends, but look at me and my BESTIE!!! Xoxoxox <3!!! Gahhhgah.
- Microwaves. While I love the microwave and grew to appreciate it immensely when the movers lost mine. (And the four torturous days that followed.) It is flawed. Big Time. How has this machine been around since the eighties and still can’t just warm up food? Try putting leftover spaghetti in the microfail. You think, one minute and thirty seconds should do it. Then you retrieve a bowl that has a near temperature of one thousand degrees and contains cold spaghetti. Ice cold. And don’t get me started on the defrost function.
The word “Fail.” I like this word. I like it because it works and it is compact. But hearing it come out of my mouth I know it is dated. While my teenage stepson laughs now, give him four months and my use of this phrase will get eye rolls and looks that penetrate my almost mid thirty psyche. I might as well go back to 1989 and hear my mom say, “Well, Duhhhhhh…” The horror.
- Energy Drinks. This is also a love hate relationship. I want everyone to agree to re-visit this blog in ten years. They will say that all this caffeine we have pumped into our system has aged us three fold. They knew it was bad, but they had no idea it was that bad. I love my 5 hour energy. And equivalent to one cup of coffee my ass. One of those babies in the morning and I can go till 2pm without a blink. Not one. But now I need two. Because my body got used to just one and it isn’t cutting it. This time next year I will be pouring four of them over ice just so I can get out of bed. I am now a Grape 5 Hour energy junkie. Great.
I am stopping at four. I picked four because you would expect me to stop at five but that would be too predictable now wouldn’t it? And anyway my five hour energy is wearing off an hour early. You sneaky little red bottled bastard.
Woman on Pause
Photo Credits in order of appearance
Neiner Neiner Neiner this is my picture. I had one handy. Go figure.